For many parents and caregivers, the school summer holidays bring a mix of joy, dread, and exhaustion. But if you’re living with chronic/ persistent pain, that mix can lean heavily toward overwhelm. Let’s be honest – six (or more!) weeks of constant activity, noise, and broken routines can feel daunting even at the best of times.
So how can you manage the summer break without breaking yourself in the process?
The Summer Holiday Struggle is Real
You love your children, of course you do. But the long summer holidays can stir up some uncomfortable realities:
- You’re already running on limited energy, and now you’re expected to be the entertainer, referee, chef, cleaner, and chauffeur – every single day.
- Your pain doesn’t take a summer break. Flare-ups can become more frequent when routines shift, stress rises, or you push yourself too hard trying to “keep up.”
- Guilt creeps in. You might feel like you’re not doing enough. You want to give your kids a magical summer, but your body isn’t cooperating.
Sound familiar?
Agitation: Why It Feels Worse in Summer
There are a few reasons why this time of year can feel particularly challenging:
- Loss of structure. The school term offers a predictable rhythm. Without it, pacing becomes harder and rest gets interrupted.
- Pressure to perform. Social media is filled with sun-soaked beach trips, day outings, and activity-packed schedules. You might feel you’re not “measuring up.”
- Constant stimulation. Noise, clutter, demands for attention – they can all raise your pain levels by increasing stress and overstimulating an already sensitive nervous system.
And let’s not forget the heat, which for many people with chronic pain can make symptoms worse, disrupt sleep, and drain energy.
Solution: Small Shifts, Big Difference
Here’s the good news: You don’t need to do it all. You just need to do it differently.
Let’s look at a few strategies that have helped my clients manage summer in a way that’s realistic, kind, and sustainable:
1. Plan for Pacing – But Stay Flexible
Try to structure your day with one “main activity” and one “rest window.” For example:
- Morning: A short park trip (while it’s cooler and quieter)
- Afternoon: A calm movie or audio story at home while you rest
Use timers or visual schedules with your children so they know what to expect – it reduces pressure and helps avoid repeated “What are we doing next?” questions that can drain your focus.
2. Create a Summer Survival Basket
Set up a little “self-soothing” basket you can reach for on tough days. Include:
- Instant cold packs or heat wraps
- Calming essential oils
- Noise-cancelling headphones
- A short guided hypnosis or breathing track
- Colouring books or fidget toys for the kids (buy yourself five minutes!)
It helps to have relief ready, instead of scrambling for it when you’re already flaring.
3. Let Go of Perfection (Your Kids Will Thrive Anyway)
Your children don’t need elaborate adventures – they need you. Here’s what kids often remember:
- “We made ice lollies together”
- “Mum let us have a picnic in the living room”
- “We built a pillow fort and read stories”
Focus on small, doable joys – five or ten minutes of connection can be more valuable than a full day out you paid for (and paid for again with pain).
4. Give Yourself Permission to Rest (Out Loud)
Don’t hide your pain. Let your children see what self-care looks like:
“Mum’s body needs a rest now. I’ll lie on the sofa while you draw. When I feel a bit better, we’ll play together.”
Modelling this teaches empathy, patience, and emotional literacy – life skills they’ll carry into adulthood.
A Final Thought
You are doing enough.
Managing pain while parenting through the summer holidays is no small feat. It takes creativity, courage, and a lot of deep breaths. Be kind to yourself. Lower the bar. Raise the compassion.
Remember: It’s not about doing more – it’s about doing what matters, in a way that works for you.
Take gentle care,
Dr Sue